| weLL, i'm 'bout to head off to work (wHa?!~ miNh, work?!~ haha)... sorry that i haven't been tryin' as hard as i shouLd of when it comes to updatin'... Let's just say that i've had pLenty on my mind this past YEAR!~ unfortunateLy, i isoLated myseLf from EERbody... again, when i say EERbody, i mean EERbody as in my famiLy, friends, and that pretty much sums up as mah ppLz!~ and, xanga's aLways been a spot where i'd come to vent and ram on and on 'bout... mostLy, non-sense!~ haha... and i isoLated myseLf from mah ppLz through xanga, tOo... MAH BAD!~ but yea, it's 'bout that time for a change... change, ..::siGh::.. 
yea, that's something i DEFINITELY gotta finish up on, through ventin' and rammin'!~  tiLL' then, you know da deaL... hoLLa at ur boi... get at ME!~ gotta run and make a coupLe doLLaz!~ no money, NO HONEY, rah?!~ earLy!~ hahhahahaha ..:: edit ::..
aznxboL (12:11:16 AM): it's wierf
aznxboL (12:11:19 AM): i'm wierd
aznxboL (12:11:21 AM): i dunno...
aznxboL (12:11:47 AM): you know how when, in Life, you're use to doin' something a certain way?!~
aznxboL (12:12:01 AM): and it's hard to change?!`
lattemuerte (12:13:17 AM): yeah old habits die hard
aznxboL (12:13:59 AM): yea, so this past year, i've been hoLdin' it down on my own
aznxboL (12:14:13 AM): meanin', i've spoken to NOBODY as i took on Life
aznxboL (12:14:21 AM): weLL, besides my co-workers
aznxboL (12:14:24 AM): but that's different
aznxboL (12:14:30 AM): we mainLy spoke 'bout work
aznxboL (12:14:59 AM): seein' you onLine brought me back to when we were chattin' and communicatin'
aznxboL (12:16:00 AM): and to be honest, you did make Life easier for me in certain situations
aznxboL (12:16:22 AM): but once i isoLated myseLf
aznxboL (12:16:44 AM): i was THAT hardheaded where i ISOLATED myseLf
aznxboL (12:16:55 AM): LoL!~ rammin' earLy
aznxboL (12:16:55 AM): hahahah
aznxboL (12:17:33 AM): to make a Long story short, it's not you... it's me findin' it difficuLt to OPEN UP once again
aznxboL (12:17:35 AM): you feeL me?!~
aznxboL (12:17:37 AM): LoL!
aznxboL (12:17:45 AM): trippin'... hahahah earLy!~
lattemuerte (12:18:03 AM): i dont blame you
lattemuerte (12:18:05 AM): really i don't
lattemuerte (12:18:13 AM): its good to be cynical at times
lattemuerte (12:18:18 AM): its good to be cautious at times
lattemuerte (12:18:24 AM): its good to be untrusting of others
lattemuerte (12:18:35 AM): and its good to isolate yourself but only to an extent
aznxboL (12:19:00 AM): TRUE... i'm Learnin' that now
aznxboL (12:19:13 AM): just feeL that i need to make baby steps now
aznxboL (12:19:32 AM): to get back to where i was before... when i TRULY was abLe to say that i was happy
aznxboL (12:19:35 AM): ..::siGh::..
change is gOod...
ain't NO deny'n that!~ then again, it mostLy depends on what that change may be, rah?!~ i mean 'cause, i must admit that i'm not tOo proud of some changes that i've gone through over the past coupLe years... but, there's aLso those which i am proud of!~ you feeL me?!~ so yea, at times, change is good!~ durin' the time when i wasn't updatin' was when i turned my back on the worLd... yea, i'm not proud of it!~ ..::siGh::.. and don't get me wrong, 'cause it's nothin' personaL towards ANYbody, but i just feLt that the worLd had turned it's back on me... yea, you can say that da boi was goin' though it... nothin' just seemed to go right... shit just kept happenin'... it started when i was goin' through it wit' mah famiLy... goin' through it wit' mah pplz!~ ..::siGh::.. had to get out da crib and settLe in wit' mah popz for a minute... was chiLLin' there for 'bout 3 months, then i went away to TX for a minute, just to GET AWAY!~ whiLe over TX, popz caLL teLLin' me that he was movin' to caLi in a week or 2... "WHAT?!~", rah?!~ earLy!~ haha... ended up comin' home that same night when i got the caLL... but, that's mainLy 'cause i aLLowed myseLf to get caught up in a situation where 2 nut ass niggaz jumped me!~ LoL!~ but hoL' up, that ain't the funny part... it's funny how it happened right in front of a nigga whom i thought was mah manz... HAHA!~ wit' friends Like that, who needs enemies?!~  but yea, that had an impact on me... that's when i started buiLdin' this sheLL 'round me... unsure of others, ya feeL me?!~ started re-evaLuate'n reLationships i had wit' others, at the time... concLuded that it wouLd be best for me to just DO ME, you feeL me?!~ i mean, i just didn't want to deaL wit' aLL dat buLL'ish that's out there.. i did what i had to do, here and there and when needed to get a coupLe doLLaz... and then, yea, i met someone aLong the way, but she ain't keep it reaL wit' me!~ she Later bounced once situations got rough... so, that's that... but yea... then, my oLdest brother got married... congratz to him and quita... yaLL know, aLL i got IS Love!~ unfortunateLy, i found out 'bout it through my barber... LoL!~ ain't THAT SOME SHIT!~ ..::siGh::.. yea, i know we were goin' through it... and what famiLy doesn't?!~ but, C'MON NOW!~ but, you know what, Lemme stop and cut it short right there, 'cause there ain't no point of me goin' there!~ what's the truth is that reaLness of ppL tends to come out in the best of times, but mostLy the hardest of times... rah?!~ weLL, that's how i've been see'n it... and on some reaL shit, your "reaL ppLz", whom i consider "mah ppLz", are those who are by your side, REGARDLESS!~ and there ain't no IFs, ANDs or BUTs, you feeL me?!~ 
DAMN!~ Lemme stop... caught myseLf rammin', earLy!~ shiet, it's been a minute since i Last vented... and it's true how some things just don't change over time... LoL!~ but yea, whiLe ventin', it feeLs Like i hit a spot... don't know what it is... but, to me, it's a sign to cut it short!~
but, what's aLL this 'bout MYSPACE that i've been hearin'/readin' 'bout?!~ LoL!~ can't even front, i signed up myseLf for one of 'em, but i ain't even check it out yet... feeLin' guiLty aLready, as if i'm cheatin' on xanga!~ LoL!~ Lemme stop!~ haha... but yea, you know da deaL, hoLLa at ur boi... IlIpLayboiIlI@yahoo.com <~ MYSPACE... get at ME, Let ME find out, earLy!~ haha... |
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